Breaking An Addiction

An addiction according to Merriam Webster Dictionary is defined as a strong and harmful need to regularly have something or do something. The other definition says it is a persistent compulsive use of a substance known by the user to be harmful.
Addiction can also be understood as a dependence. Something which you depend on is your addiction. Let me mention this just at the beginning; the effort of this article is not to differentiate between a habit and addiction or to discuss positive and or negative addiction. This article is premised on how one can free themselves from an addiction.
This writing will focus on how to break bad behaviours or quitting things which are harmful to your health, academics, relationships, destiny etc.
Stopping doing something bad which you have been doing for years is not easy. It requires a lot of commitment and discipline because it acts and rides on the advantages of emotions. Once something convinces your emotions that you need it for survival, quitting it will not be easy but it is not impossible.
Here I will provide some thoughts which I have found to be very helpful. The thoughts I will provide is not everything that there is to learn around this topic;
If you want to quit an addiction the first step is, DECIDING TO QUIT. When you have made up your mind and decide that you want to stop or quit the addiction, then that is one step into your freedom. Under this, I have few points I have found to be very helpful;
Write down the harmful effects of your addiction.
It might not feel good to acknowledge all the ways in which your addiction is harming you, but seeing the list on paper will help you resolve to stop as soon as possible. Take out a pen and a piece of paper and brainstorm a list that includes all the negative effects you’ve experienced since your addiction started. If you cannot see how bad something is to you, you cannot stop it. Writing the harmful effects of your addiction on a piece of paper helps you have a yardstick which you can use to work on.
Make a list of positive changes you want in your life.
Now that you’ve detailed all the negative effects of your addiction, think about how much your life will improve once you’ve kicked the habit. Create a picture of your life post-addiction. How do you want it to look? You must have reasons why you would want quit your addiction. Apart from the negative effects of the addiction, you must have a list of positive changes which you would want to see in your life.
Write down your quitting commitment.
Having a list of solid reasons to quit will help you stick to your plan in the long run. Your reasons for quitting must be more important to you than continuing your addictive behaviour. This mental hurdle is tough, but it’s a necessary first step to quitting any addiction. No one can make you quit but yourself. Write down the true, solid reasons you’re stopping this habit. Only you know what they are.
After you have put the first part in place, you need to make a plan for quitting. Under this you are looking at things which are exact and precise, things which will act as a road map;
Set a date to quit.
You must set a date when you want to quit. Don’t set it for tomorrow, unless you’re pretty sure quitting that craving will work for you. Don’t set it for more than a month from now, because you might lose your resolve by then. Aim for a date in the next couple of weeks. This will give you enough time to become mentally and physically prepared.
Seek personal and professional support.
It might not seem like it now, but you’re going to need all the support you can get during your journey to overcome addiction. Because so many people battle addictions, there are many wonderful institutions in place that serve as support systems, helping you stay motivated, providing tips for success, and encouraging you to try again if you have a false start.
Identify your triggers.
Everyone has a certain set of triggers that make them automatically want to indulge their habits. For example, if you’re struggling with an alcohol addiction, you might find it difficult to attend a certain restaurant without feeling a strong urge to drink. If you’re addicted to gambling, passing a casino on the way home from work might make you feel compelled to stop. Knowing your triggers will help you face them down when the time comes to quit.
Some examples of triggers;
1. Stress is often a trigger for all kinds of addictions.
2. Certain situations, like parties or other social gatherings, might act as triggers.
3. Certain individuals can be triggers.
Start ramping down your addictive habit.
Instead of quitting immediately, start by decreasing your use. For most people, this makes it easier to quit. Indulge less frequently, and gradually continue reducing it as your day to quit for good approaches.
Fill your time.
If you need distractions, try exercising, taking up a new hobby, cooking, or hanging out with friends. Joining a new club, sports team, or other kind of community group will help you make new friends and start a new chapter of your life in which addiction is not a part. Positive social interactions can stimulate the release of neurochemicals which elicit feelings of happiness and satisfaction without the need for drugs or that addiction.
Don’t give in to rationalizations.
The physical and mental pain of addiction withdrawal is real, and you’ll likely start telling yourself it is okay to take up the habit again. Don’t listen to the voice telling you to start back up and don’t give up on yourself when it feels hard. Every bit of pain will be worth it in the end.
Celebrate your accomplishments.
Do something nice for yourself when you meet the goals you’ve made, no matter how small. Kicking an addiction is incredibly tough work, and you deserve to be rewarded.
:: Olly Moonga
:: Thoughts Are Things
#TAT

FOCUS

FOCUS:
Focus defines the way we think, react and act.
Life is filled with everything you would want but what you get at the end of the day is dependant upon what you have decided to FOCUS on. As acronemed in my book, Thoughts Are Things;
F - Follow
O - One
C - Course
U - Until
S - Successful
Now,  when you look at the various things which  people do in life, a good number of them is because that is what the doer has focused on. Your focus is your stronghold in any field of life. I have come to understand that more than many times you only achieve what you have decided to focus on.
Most of the times you can always tell what the person was focusing on by looking at what has been achieved.
Your power to achieve is in your concentration ability to FOCUS.
Your actions are controlled by your choice of your FOCUS.
Focus on your life because that is where your power to achieve lies. Never let yourself down.
Focus! Focus! Focus! and then Focus.
     :: Olly Moonga.
:: Thoughts Are Things.
                #TAT.

Environment matters.

Environment Matters:
If you told my mother 23 years ago that she was pregnant with a child who was going to be an author, she would have had not believed you because her society taught her that you can raise a child without expecting them to be exceptional. Our societies in Zambia, Africa and even the world at most raises children without expecting excellence from the raised children.
If you told me 10 years ago that I was going to be an author, I would honestly laugh at you and tell you that you don't know what you are talking about. This would be because you probably would be the first one to have had told me that, in addition I would also have told you that you just don't know my background. Listen, I am not ignorant to the fact that there are some of us who come from harsh background which cannot even allow you to breath the air from urban areas. I am aware of that. Look, the whole point is on us making efforts to surround ourselves with the right environment. If you were not born in it then create it.
If today you tell me that I will not amount to anything, trust me I will not believe you because the environment which I am in now has nurtured me to believe that all things are possible I just have to decide which one to do. This did not just come on a silver platter, often and many times I had to make efforts with every opportunity I had to associate myself with the right kind of people. Look here, not everyone is good for your life. Mr Felix Banda otherwise 'GALAMUKANI' puts it in this way, "WE DON'T JUST BECOME". In the process of becoming one of the things you have to look out for is your networks which later entails your environment. He who walks with the wise shall be wise but a companion of fools shall perish. This is true in many aspects of life, he who walks with successful people shall be successful but an environment of failures makes it impossible to succeed.
Do yourself a favor, surround yourself with people who challenge you to do good, people who challenge you to do great. You will be amazed what you can achieve. Never give up until you are in an environment which makes you believe that IT IS POSSIBLE.
    :: Olly Moonga
:: Thoughts Are Things.
                #TAT
Environmentmatters.

Challenges are necessary

I sat down to reflect on what life would have meant if it was easy to just do something and then it automatically works out without any resistance. Here is what I came to learn;
All the challenges of life are responsible for making life beautiful. All the things which might be unpleasant on your way to your destiny are necessary. When you face a situation which you might not like, it is not there to discourage you but it is relevant to the authenticity of your achievements in your life.
Yes challenges are not pleasant to face but I want to dare you to confront them with a positive attitude because there are responsible for making your endeavors enjoyable. Victories are to be celebrated but you cannot celebrate if you haven't conquered and conquest comes with a challenge. Smile in your challenges and just know that your destiny is still intact.
      :: Olly Moonga
::Thoughts Are Things
         #TAT

IS IT TOO MUCH TO ASK?

I couldn’t sleep throughout the night. The one question which robed sleep from me was, ‘Is it too much to Ask?’

As I wondered why I could not sleep, the question was so loud within my spirit, ‘Is it too much to ask?’

I have heard a number of people who tell me that there are tired of listening to motivational talks and reading inspirational and motivational books. They often say that things will happen at the appointed time. I am not advocating that people should rush or be quick to do things but what I have come to learn is that, the appointed time doesn’t really happen if we decide not to do anything. “I would rather let fate interpret matters for my case’’ they would say. I have had a problem with people who think and speak like that because they often think that when they attend a motivational talk or read a motivational/inspirational book, then they are doing the motivational speakers and Authors a favour. There is one thing which is rarely acknowledged the truth that whenever you listen to something or read something which motivates you and provokes you to become the best version of yourself, you are actually doing yourself a huge favour.

The ultimate goal of your existence is to become the best version of yourself and contribute positively to the advancement of the world and the lives of the people around you.

You do not need to own the whole world in order to contribute positively to the advancement of the world and the lives of people out there. What you need is an adequate investment into yourself, how much have you invested into your character?

You were made for the cause of the very reason you must become the best you were intended. Is it too much to ask, asking you to take interest in the development of your life so that you can be the best version of yourself?

Is it too much to ask you to discover your purpose in life? Is it too much to ask you to cultivate positive attributes of your life. Is it TOO much to ask you be who you were really made to be?

If you think it is too much to ask you discover your purpose and potential in life so as you can add value to other people’s lives, then you have misunderstood the reason for EXISTENCE.

You were born for greatness in the area of your gifting. Do not neglect your life because many other lives depend on your advancement.

Do not see it to be too much to ask, asking you to be YOU.

Life is privileged to have you in it.

           :: Olly Moonga

     :: Thoughts Are Things

                    #TAT 

You are valuable

Largely in today’s world, people measure worth by how many things one has. But I don’t think it is fair to judge someone’s value or worth by the things they have – things which you can see. I believe value goes far beyond what we can see with our eyes. I contemplate that value is something which must be perceived. 

Take for instance, you get a piece of diamond and put it in mud, wrap it or smear it with mud until it looks like mud. Do you think its value would change because it is smeared with mud? The answer is NO. The truth of the matter is that whether the diamond is in mud or not, it is still valuable.

The value of something doesn’t change because of the environment around it. All you need to do is to get it, clean it and then you will be amazed how much value was wrapped in mud.

The reason why you need to keep getting motivation and inspiration I believe is because motivation and inspiration provokes the real you and makes you want to expose the value that you are. It acts like water which washes away the dirty and exposes the beauty to the world. To this effect, I strongly believe that you need motivation and inspiration as much as you need bathing.

You are valuable. Whether you know it yet or not, wake up to the challenge of exposing your value to the world. You are more than you think you are. Clean yourself up through motivation and inspiration. Provoke yourself to become fully you. Invest positive thinking in yourself and become you ultimately. Don’t settle for less, don’t settle for mediocrity. You are a valuable commodity which needs cleaning.

You are valuable just the way you are. Work hard and expose that value.

Keep the inspiration.

          :: Olly Moonga

:: Thoughts Are Things

                  #TAT

   

NO! is not the final response in any situation

A response is never positive or negative until it is percieved so.

Perception is very important. I think it is one of the important attributes of success or failure in any field of life. The response you give to any situation is usually the final stage in the geneology of action because after a response, action is always the result.

One day we went to the bursaries committe with friends to make changes to some details which we had earlier provided. When we got there, we asked the man whom we were pointed out to, who was responsible for our petition. When we approached him, he also said that it was not him responsible for our appeal. But as for us, we were sure that it was him who handled cases as the one we had. He then walked to a certain office, entered and closed the door behind but we remained outside waiting for him. We were troubled, we did not know what next to do. Then I told the people that I was waiting with, ‘Let us wait for him to come out and plead with him until he helps us.’ After considerably a long time, he came out and found us standing outside the door. He asked, “You chaps are still here?” we responded with a manner of unzone that we were waiting for him to help us and we were not going to go back or move an inch until he gives us the help we wanted. He smiled and then said, “follow me to my office.” We followed him and within very few minutes we had our details corrected.

I learnt that if we had left at the time he had told us that he was not the one responsible, that would have been our final response to what the man had said. When he had refused to help us, it was not the final response but if we had left, we would have given ourselves the final response. But when we stayed a little bit longer waiting for him, it meant that we refused to take his ‘NO!’ as a final answer.

Do not be intimidated by the first encounter of failure or negativity. Do not dismiss yourself. You can choose to stay a little bit longer at what you are doing until you get what you want.

Sometimes you will try doing things which may not work out at first but that does not mean that that is the end. The end is when you decide to give up. Refuse to give up. You are meant for great achievements and no negativity or failure can change that unless you let it.

I will never give up on my endeavers in life because I have learnt that as long as I am alive, I can never be defeated by anything unless I decide to give up.

NO! Is not the final response.

         :: Olly Moonga

:: Thoughts Are Things

             #TAT